Utilizing Appropriate Guidance: Building Children’s Resilience

By: Krystle Prudhomme, M.Ed.

Doctoral Candidate, Early Childhood Education, Louisiana State University

K-8 Literacy Coach, St. Landry Parish School District

Imagine two toddlers tugging on the same toy, both frustrated and near tears. What happens next could become a power struggle—or a powerful teaching moment.

Early childhood educators advocate utilizing positive guidance practices, a more effective approach to fostering children's growth and success than traditional discipline approaches. Recognizing that young children are still developing essential social-emotional skills, a guidance-based approach highlighted by Marion (2019) in Guidance of Young Children acknowledges that disagreements are opportunities for learning, not simply occasions for punishment. This perspective aligns with the National Association for the Education of Young Children's (NAEYC’s) fundamental principle: "Above all, we shall not harm children." Effective guidance helps children make better choices about their behavior through positive interactions and a clear understanding of expectations. Adopting a "Discipline with Heart" approach means equipping teachers with the knowledge and skills to create supportive learning environments and foster self-regulation that will promote children's social-emotional and academic development.

Why Positive Guidance Matters

McRoy et al. (2023) emphasize that young children require structured guidance to develop self-regulation and language skills, particularly during conflicts. Their three-step method—stating the behavior and identifying emotions, explaining its implications, and guiding children toward solutions—provides a framework for teachers to support children's social-emotional growth in real-time interactions. When teachers follow this structured approach, children learn to resolve disputes independently while strengthening their communication skills. This aligns with Gloeckler and Cassell's (2012) findings that teachers who facilitate social problem-solving rather than imposing solutions foster independence and social competence.

Similarly, Gloeckler and Cassell (2012) stress that teachers who actively engage children in problem-solving discussions help them internalize conflict-resolution skills rather than rely on external authority to impose solutions. Their research demonstrates that when teachers encourage children to verbalize their emotions and explore solutions together, they develop stronger conflict-resolution skills. By verbalizing emotions and considering multiple solutions, children develop independence and social competence, reinforcing the benefits of a positive guidance approach.

Real-Life Example: Problem-Solving in Preschool 

To bridge research-based strategies with classroom realities, I conducted an observation in a local preschool as part of a reflective practice project. My aim was to document authentic examples of positive guidance and assess their alignment with developmentally appropriate practices and policy expectations. In one observation, two children were engaged in a tug-of-war over a brightly colored toy truck. Instead of taking the toy away, the teacher knelt and facilitated a problem-solving discussion. She acknowledged each child's feelings—"I see that you both really want to play with the truck"—and then asked, "How can we make sure that both of you get a turn?" With guidance, they agreed that one child could play for five minutes before switching. The teacher used a timer to reinforce the agreement and concept of fairness.

This method not only aligns with McRoy et al.'s (2023) structured approach but also supports Marion's (2019) emphasis on guidance over punishment. Furthermore, it embodies the principles outlined in Louisiana Bulletin 137, which prioritizes respectful conflict resolution strategies (Louisiana Department of Education, 2017). By guiding children through problem-solving, the teacher resolved the immediate issue and equipped them with lifelong social-emotional skills.

Utilizing appropriate guidance techniques requires strong relationships. Teachers who use praise, encouragement, and positive attention foster self-regulation and social skills. Rather than focusing on punishment, a teacher’s role is to model trust and appropriate social interactions (Marion, 2019). My experience working with early learners reinforces the importance of consistency—when students know what to expect and feel valued, they are more likely to engage in cooperative behavior.

Policy in Action: Aligning with Louisiana Standards 

The Guiding Principles for Improving School Climate and Discipline from the U.S. Department of Education emphasizes creating positive school climates and prioritizing preventative measures (Louisiana Department of Education, 2019). My observations reflect these principles, as the teacher in the observation proactively addressed a conflict by teaching social skills and encouraging positive peer interactions. Louisiana Bulletin 137 also reinforces the importance of safe, supportive environments that reduce challenging behaviors and foster developmentally appropriate interactions (Louisiana Department of Education, 2017). For example, when teachers set clear expectations, model respectful communication, and use guidance rather than punishment, they help children internalize essential skills for managing emotions and resolving conflicts. In the observed scenario, the teacher’s use of a timer and collaborative problem-solving directly embodied these standards, demonstrating how policy can translate into everyday practice.

Final Thoughts: Empowerment over Punishment

By setting clear expectations and modeling respectful communication, teachers can create a classroom culture that minimizes behavioral challenges. My experiences as both an educator and mom have shown that when early learners reflect on their actions and practice conflict resolution, they are more likely to internalize positive behavioral patterns. Rather than punitive discipline, the focus should be on equipping children with the tools to manage emotions and interact constructively with peers.

For example, as seen in the earlier classroom scenario, when a teacher facilitated a respectful conversation between children in conflict rather than imposing a consequence, the students learned to negotiate, empathize, and take turns. Such moments transform discipline into opportunities for meaningful growth. While challenges such as time constraints, diverse needs, or ingrained habits may arise, it is important for educators to approach these obstacles with patience and reflection. Consistency and a willingness to adapt are key to sustaining positive guidance practices. 

When teachers view every conflict as a teachable moment and approach discipline as a chance for growth rather than control, they build classrooms rooted in empowerment, trust, and respect. By anchoring positive guidance in respect and cultural responsiveness, educators affirm each child’s unique identity and foster equity in classroom relationships. Ultimately, this commitment shapes confident, empathetic, and resilient learners—empowering every child to thrive.

Conclusion

By embracing a developmentally appropriate behavior guidance approach, teachers can create nurturing environments that support children's social-emotional growth and academic success. Grounded in research, informed by Marion’s insights, and aligned with Louisiana policies, this approach prioritizes children's well-being by equipping them with essential problem-solving and self-regulation skills. Beyond the classroom, fostering positive discipline contributes to a more supportive school climate, where students feel safe, respected, and empowered to resolve conflicts constructively. When teachers model and reinforce these strategies, children carry these skills into their later years, ultimately improving their interpersonal relationships and lifelong learning experiences. For teachers, adopting positive guidance requires patience, consistency, and trust in the process. While challenges may arise, each moment of conflict presents an opportunity to guide children toward growth. By implementing these strategies, educators can shape classrooms where discipline is not about control but about empowerment, respect, and long-term success.

References

Gloeckler, L., & Cassell, J. (2012). Teacher practices with toddlers during social problem-solving opportunities. Early Childhood Education Journal, 40(3), 251–257. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10643-011-0495-4

Louisiana Department of Education. (2017). Louisiana Bulletin 137 for child care.  https://www.louisianabelieves.com/docs/default-source/early-childhood/bulletin-137.pdf

Louisiana Department of Education. (2019). Guiding principles resource guide for improving school climate and discipline. https://www.louisianabelieves.com/docs/default-source/school-climate-discipline/guiding-principles-resource-guide.pdf

Marion, M. (2019). Guidance of young children. Pearson Education.

McRoy, K., Gerde, H. K., & Linscott, L. (2023, Fall). A three-step approach to help children navigate conflict. Teaching Young Children. National Association for the Education of Young Children. https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/yc/fall2022/three-step-approach

Krystle Prudhomme holds an M.Ed. in Curriculum and Instruction and is currently pursuing a Ph.D. in Curriculum and Instruction, specializing in Early Childhood Education at Louisiana State University. Her current research focuses on promoting emergent writing through culturally responsive practices that honor children’s identities, languages, and lived experiences. She began her career teaching Special Education and Elementary Education (Grades 1–5) and has served as a Master Teacher and Academic Behavior Coordinator in Iberia and Lafayette Parish. Krystle currently serves as a K-8 Literacy Coach for St. Landry Parish and the Student Chair for Louisiana Association for the Education of Young Children (LAAEYC), where she promotes student membership and engagement across early childhood education programs statewide.